A Big Turn Off

This will be a short blog.

Turn off this computer and go do something real with someone you care about. Take a walk, sing a song, or make a meal, no matter what this time of the year can help us remember that the best things in the world are analog. 

Happy Holidays!

Slow Down

This is the time of year where everything seems to be going so fast. It’s an acceleration to Christmas day, then New Years Eve, and then beyond. That’s why it’s so important that we slow down this time of year. When we get to the gym and find someone is using our machine or when we get to the store and find that the lines are long, irritation can arise. But these things are only a problem if we are in a hurry.

I’ve been told that in Russia for one to two weeks this time of year almost everything closes down. Because everything is closed people have no choice but to slow down and enjoy time with their loved ones. In many places things may only close for a day or two around the holidays so we have to make the choice to slow down.

When we slow down something truly amazing happens, we relax, we notice beauty, we become more kind, and we enjoy ourselves. But perhaps the most amazing thing of all is that we can get almost as many things done in the same amount of time. Frantic activity rarely leads to efficiency.

In addition to being more efficient we also perceive things differently. The lines move about the same at the grocery store, but because we slow down we don’t feel like they are going too slow. People may be on our favorite equipment, but because we slow down, we remember there is a new workout routine we’ve wanted to try out.

Being around others who are in a hurry can be contagious so when you find yourself feeling frantic, try out these tips to help you slow down -

·      Take a few deep breaths

·      Reconnect with your heart

·      Take a walk, run, or bike ride (alone if that’s what you need)

·      Leave extra space in your day by planning ahead or managing expectations

·      Let go of how things are ‘supposed to be’; being calm and relaxed is a better than any perfect dish, ritual, or present

When we are in a hurry nothing seems possible, our lives contract, and we rush from one thing to the next. When we slow down our lives expand, many things are possible, and we greet each new activity with a fresh and excited mind. Make the choice to slow down; it’s the best way to spread peace on earth and good will to men and women alike.

The most important factor - The Arrow

 
I wrote a post a couple weeks ago on how to embody the classical spiritual triptych of the archer, the arrow, and the target. The idea arose out of a Yoga class where the teacher talked about how we are each: an archer, aiming for what we want to become; an arrow, the thing that is moving towards the target; and the target, that which we are aiming at becoming. This post will focus embodying the arrow; the self that is dynamically moving towards our goal.

The most important thing about embodying an arrow is to let go of planning. Often the fitness industry sells the idea of a great plan that will get you ‘there’ faster, easier, and for less money. Picking the right plan is important to prevent injury, to develop in a balanced way, and to maximize your efforts, but it’s not the most important factor.

An arrow flows with what is around it, It dips and weaves with the air, having a conversation with it’s environment. As you work towards any goal you must be willing to embody the flexibility the arrow demonstrates.

When we are the archer we see the line to the target as straight line. If we are an excellent archer we take into account things like wind and terrain when we shoot. But as soon as the arrow is loosed, it becomes the object of response and adaptation.

If we resist this subtle flow and adaptation and try to fly in a mathematically straight line we will have a much harder time hitting our target. It is essential when being the act of transformation that we let go of how we thought things would be. Instead we must embrace what is. 

How can you embody the arrow this week and let go of some expectations? What if you were to relax into whatever activity you are engaged in? Take some time this week and try being the arrow of change and see how it changes your attitude towards your exercise or fitness practice.

Transformation is the practice of people who transform their lives. I have met many people in my life who have transformed their lives and they all have in common is they are still transforming their lives. They never stop. If the arrow stops moving, it ceases to be an arrow. Make sure that in moving forward you don’t forget to flow with everything else as well.

Why didn’t I exercise over Thanksgiving?

The holidays break up our routines and tug at our heartstrings. They have bring up old memories as well as old insecurities. For many people this season is a season of pitfalls and minefields for health vows. Here are 4 tips on how to navigate the holidays and maintain mindfulness around living a balanced and healthy life.


1. Cook more veggies: For thanksgiving many people have a CARB FEST. The problem with this is that carbs have tons of excess calories and they tend to make us sleepy and lethargic. You know all the stuff about tryptophan in the turkey? Bogus. They have done studies and the reason you get so sleepy is the massive intake of carbs. Instead try cooking more veggies. This year I sautéed kale with golden raisins and my uncle grilled fresh asparagus. Half of my thanksgiving plate was veggies and I didn’t have to take a nap after dinner. If you are going over to someone’s house, offer to bring some veggies along -- you will likely be one of the few people touting leafy greens.


2. Make plans to exercise: If you can exercise with your family, great. If not, include your exercise in your plans with your family. Family stuff has a way of expanding to take up the time you have, so set clear intentions and tell your family what those plans are. You are more likely to follow through.


3. Don't drink too much: I made this mistake. My family is not a big drinking family, but when everyone else is having a beer, it’s easy to go along. I rarely drink, but when I was home I had a cocktail almost every night. Because of this I tended to wake up later and a bit groggier.   You can be festive without imbibing and you are much more likely to wake up early and go for a run. It’s OK to have a drink or two, but an every other day rule might be the best policy.


4. Get enough sleep: I know you want to see your friends, and your extended family probably wakes up earlier than you normally do. Going to bed early every other night will ensure that you get to stay up and enjoy that late night discussion of metaphysics with your cousin, or hear things you never knew about your uncle. It will also make sure you get enough sleep and thus have enough energy to exercise.


Take some time this week and create a plan for how you are going to get through the holidays mindfully. Don’t forget to give yourself more slack than normal. The goal is to maintain awareness more than any strict rules that will be hard to stick to.  If nothing else remember this one simple rule: the holidays only last 1-2 months, just make it through ‘til January 2nd and then commit to starting back into your old routine.

What Are 3 Aspects of Being A Great Student?

So I haven't posted in a few days 14 to be exact and I am working on a response to a great question asked of me, but it won't be ready today so instead I give to you, one answer from my Yoga School application. I know it's kind of cheating, but I think it was illuminating for me to read what I wrote here and I hope that it helps you as well. I think it applies to almost any situation we find ourselves in that asks us to be a student.

 

What are 3 aspects of being a student of yoga that are important, and why?

1. It’s important to watch the mind that grasps for achievement - The western mind can be, by virtue of the society in which it was raised, a bit competitive. I know that I have had the competition bug in me and that it can come out no matter what I do. This can happen in yoga just as much as anything else. I want to have perfect form, I want to be more flexible than others, etc. etc. There is nothing wrong with wanting to study and practice with skill, because without any determination I would drop any practice as soon as it got hard. What I have found is that I must expect to lose myself in the effort, rather than gain a new sense of self through it.  

2. It is important to let go of preferences - I think this is true in all aspects of life, but especially when being a student. Each of us can get a certain idea in their head, about how things should happen. The mind believes that if it can think about something enough and set up a model it will prevent suffering and death. In truth these ideas are what lead to suffering in the first place. I know that when I set my preferences and opinions aside and become open to what is happening, that I learn more about myself and any practice I engage in. Holding my preferences lightly and also respecting my own boundaries allows me to stay in the realm of learning with my whole heart. This is a practice I engage in at all times, but I think is essential to keep in mind when studying yoga.

3. Remembering to be present in the body - Meditation, zazen, yoga and many other similar practices are often thought to practices of the mind, but they are practices primarily of the body, or more correctly the mind body. I have a tendency, born of my study of western philosophy, to think of the mind and body as separate. I often tend towards the superiority of the mind over the body, a sort of mind over matter attitude. This way of thinking is not right view. The mind and the body are not two things. To hold the mind and the body upright are holding one thing together. I think I always have to remind myself to be present in the body rather than to try to think my way through something.

The 'Right Way' Part 3 - The Way of Love

In my last two posts I talked about doing things the 'Right Way'. In the first post I talked about the things that underlie the desire for doing things the 'Right Way'. In the second post I talked about wholeness of imperfection and how 'Right Way' contains, both perceived success and perceived failure.

In this post I'm going to look at whether 'Right Way' (as it is conceived by the critical mind) can exist and examine how intention can transform the skillfulness of our actions.

Usually, the critical mind thinks of doing something 'Right Way' as our ability to replicate others skills or actions with a high level of precision. The question is 'Can we ever really replicate another actions? We know that no two people ever do anything quite the same way, for quite the same reasons. Everyone does things in their own unique way. Perhaps some actions are functionally repeatable, but the thoughts, motivations, emotions, and karmic causes of those actions are as different as fingerprints.

The idea of a 'Right Way' as a replication of others skills, creates an illusion of unity. If we act in this prescribed way, we are one with others who do the same. We have the same energy, power, and connection that they had. That is the power of ritual in our lives, but it's a mistake to think that it is the accuracy of the execution that creates that unity.

To move as someone else moves is impossible. We do not have their same hands, eyes, and ears. What we can have is a unity of intention, a unity of the heart. Many cultures spend hours practicing rituals so that they are very precise, but if it comes from a love of precision itself the point is lost. It must come from a love of ritual, love of the expression, love of the tradition, or a love of the intention and energy behind the ritual.

When I cook something my mother cooks, my goal is not to produce the same dish exactly, but only to produce it with the same love a care with which she cooked. I can even hear her saying to me, "It's not brain surgery." The message my mother gave me when we have cooked together is that it's about the intention, the process of cooking.

If your intention is good and you cook with love, then the results are likely to reflect that. It's important to remember that the results aren't just the end product. Whenever we try to do something, how we do it, how we feel about doing it, and the attitude we hold while doing it, are all part of the results.

With fitness this is especially true. To achieve a balanced life we must produce more than a leaner, stronger, and more confident body. We must also produce peace, wisdom, and compassion.

If working to do things the 'Right Way' helps us do this, then it is liberating, but if it only serves to make us feel inferior then is it really serving anyone? For me the 'Right Way' is the way that opens the heart. The 'Right Way' is the way that leads to love.

When I follow the way that leads to love, as opposed to the way that leads to perfection, I can see the results of my labor. I see those results not just in the end product of my efforts, but in every aspect of my effort. Even my perceived failures take on an energy of love and acceptance.

One way to practice with this is to reflect on an area of your life where the 'Right Way' has lead you to focus too much on the end product. What if instead of focusing on some external standard you focused on how the activity made you feel?

What if you paid close attention to each detail of each activity and tried to find the beauty in how you do it? You could try bringing in a feeling of love and compassion. Make dinner with loving hands, read a book with loving eyes. Does this change the end product? Does it change how you feel while doing it?

Setting goals can be effective and striving for excellence can be motivating, but they can also become a trap. Goals and standards can be especially sticky if they become fuel for the critical and judgmental aspects of our nature. It's important to find a way to discern the difference.

The way of love starts within ourselves and grows out from there.  If you make your 'Right Way' the way of love then everything you do will be the work of growing compassion in the world. When we let go of outcomes and focus our energy on intentions the change can revolutionize not only the outcome, but more importantly the way we feel about ourselves.

The Right Way Part 2 - The Wholeness of Imperfection

In my last blog, I talked about the concept of doing things the 'right way'. In my last post I wrote about the obsession with doing things the right way and where this obsession originates. In this post I'm going to write about wholeness  and the practice of appreciating imperfection.

Though it may be counter-intuitive there is a difference between perfection and seeking wholeness.When we seek perfection we tend to value only our positive experiences and discard our negative ones. When what's happening matches the idea we have in our mind we are WINNING! but when they when it doesn't we are FAILING! This simple view of progress doesn't take into account all the complexity of growing as a being.

Take a moment to reflect on your life, Are you certain if you changed any event, whether success or failure, if your life would be the same? You might think if you could change a few things you'd be better off, but are you sure? Maybe you wouldn't have met your wife or your best friend. You might have ended up in a much worse situation then you are now. You might even have died. There is just no way to know.

Everything you've done has led to where you are now. If you eliminated your 'failures' then you wouldn't be where you are or who you are. If your whole life, good and bad, has given you the gift of your current existence is there really a 'right way' to do things?

Often when I suggest that their really isn't a truly 'right way' to do something people object. What about math or engineering? Maybe in some areas there isn't a right way, but what about for logic. There can only be a yes or a no, 2+2=4 no matter how much you may love 5. Of course there is truth here, the 'right way' does not exclude reason or a desire for excellence. This isn't to suggest you should be lazy, sloppy, and indifferent  Not only do these things not embody excellence, they don't embody the wholeness of the 'right way.'

Often we think that to make something whole is to make it match the standard in our minds, but our own standards are very limited. We are limited in perspective, by our location in the world, in our lives, in our karmic patterns, in our place in time, and in our understanding of the nature of truth. How can our limited perspective hold all the aspects of wholeness?

Wholeness has to hold both the good and the bad. It must hold 2 + 2 = 4, but it must also hold all the answers to that equation that don't fit into our idea of the 'right' answer. 2 + 2 = 4 is the most useful part of that whole when we are trying to figure out how many apples we have, but to think that 2 + 2 = 4 fulfills the scope of wholeness is so limiting. This becomes clear as we look at our own lives.

When we are learning to ride a bike, does the wholeness of learning contain only the time we are in balance? At first we fall constantly and it's very clear that falling is part of learning, but when we become an excellent cyclist is that not true anymore?

First off, I can assure you that even being a halfway decent cyclist means falling on occasion, but more importantly even when we are riding with skill we are still falling. Riding a bike is a act of falling and adjusting, going into and out of balance. It is not a static state of riding a bike the 'right way.' Thinking of it like that hides all the subtlety that exists while riding a bike.

Excellent cyclists move and flow with the nature of change, they make thousands of little adjustments that fall within very small margins. It is their unity with the flow of change, not their  connection to some static standard which makes what they do truly amazing. It's a dance with this constant flow, and the 'right way' to ride is not something you can own, but instead something you must join with.

When we look at our lives from this perspective it's easy to see, how both balance and imbalance are part of the whole.

Take a moment and reflect on some of the things in your life you wished at some point you could have changed. How have these events created the whole person you are today? What lessons did you learn and how have you grown from these challenges?

Without the struggle to break free from the cocoon a butterfly can never fly. Without the challenges and trials of walking all the 'wrong ways' we would never learn to navigate our lives. The wholeness of our lives contains all the flawed and perfect aspects of our being. Don't forget to appreciate all the scrapes and stumbles that taught you how to walk the path.

The 'Right Way' Part 1 - Where does it come from?

I was recently talking with a friend about the idea of doing things the 'Right Way'. It's something we often obsess about in our culture. Perhaps it come from the Judeo Christian background of the western world, or perhaps it's just a side effect of striving for excellence and happiness; in either case it can very easily become a trap that limits our imagination, our ability to grow, and our happiness.

The 'Right Way' can become a beacon for us to shoot for, but also very often it is the standard by which we constantly judge our inadequacy. I'm going to take a few posts to really look at how this fixed idea of 'Right Ways' and 'Wrong Ways' effects our lives. These won't be posts that relate in a direct way to fitness, but I think very much apply to the mind that arrives at the gym or in the park every time we work out.

First off, Where does this idea of the 'Right Way' come from?

I once got into a discussion about the 'Right Way' to determine the difference between stuffing and dressing. Even though it's very silly in retrospect, I gave what can only be described as a passionate account of the difference between stuffing and dressing. I spoke with the conviction of an attorney working for Stovetop Inc. In the midst of my defense, of the purity of breaded poultry fodder, I realized that my entire knowledge of this difference, was based solely on a single article I had read the previous day on the Internet.

My conviction was unwarranted and the conversation, though clearly silly to begin with, had lept the bounds of absurdity, because of my forceful perspective. So why did I argue for the 'Right Way' to define something of so little importance? When I reflect on this, I realize that holding this 'Right Way' in my mind gave me a sense of power, of confidence, of safety.

I felt validated and justified in my actions. Knowing the 'Right Way' gave me a clear identity. I was the person who knew the identity of stuffing. I was the sole arbiter of stuffed bread products (cue the heroic music). There is something so satisfying about knowing the 'Right Way' to do something. It says so many things about me. I am competent, capable, and knowledgeable. Who am I? I am the one that knows.

It is easy to see why we can easily become obsessed with the 'Right Way' to do something. There is so much comfort for our anxiety, our fears, our doubts, and our fears.  Put simply, the idea of a 'Right Way' comes a very human need to know and understand themselves and the world around them. This 'Right Way' situates them at the center of a known universe they have drawn the borders around.

The only problem is, this 'Right Way' doesn't reveal the truth about myself or the subtlety of the actions I undertake. Instead it trades the complexity that makes life beautiful, for the certainty that makes us feel safe. I became so fixated on the 'Right Way' to describe stuffing, I lost all perspective on the absurdity of the conversation. I wasn't connected to the person I was interacting with or my own intentions. Worst of all I became unable to take in new information and new perspectives.

Striving for excellence is great and visualizing can be very valuable, but when we get fixated on the 'Right Way' to do something, we lose what we sought. What makes us truly unique among the animal kingdom, is our ability to take in new information and greet new situations with curiosity and imagination.

If the 'Right Way' comes from a fixation on a particular idea or way of being, how right is it? If on the other hand, what if the 'Right Way' comes not from an idea of the end, but from the connection to the process? It's all a matter of putting the emphasis on the 'Way' and not the 'Right'.

This is the key salvaging excellence from the concept of the 'Right Way'.  Our focus must be on the path, that leads us in the direction we want to go. Often our destinations rarely look how we expect them to and of course we as travelers have changed. The path on the other hand is intimate to our every step.

Excellence in self, in body, in mind is possible, but this excellence doesn't come from seeking some outside standard, but from believing in the flawed footsteps it takes to get there. It's faith in the path and the way, even if the scenery doesn't match the post cards.

Take some time to reflect on what fixed ideas of doing things the 'Right Way' is holding you back. What qualities are embodied in achieving that standard? Write them down. Then instead of comparing yourself to this Holy Grail standard, walk the path of the pilgrim. Do your best to embody the qualities that that standard holds.  Take up this practice of embodying qualities instead of embodying standards for a week and see what effect it has.

Your expression of compassion, of wisdom, of joy, may not be the same as those you admire, but its the way behind them, that is the same. Your act of kindness will not be there's, but the quality of kindness is something almost anyone can recognize. In this way you become one with all the great people who have gone before; not because you will do the same things, but because you will be walking on the same road.

Thanks for reading and be well,
Gentoku
dharmatrainer.com

The Illusion of Choice - Be Happy

I had a conversation with a good friend recently about the nature of choice. I realized that many of us have this idea that choice is a good thing, that helps us find happiness and peace. After all, if I can choose what I want, then I will choose what will make me happy. We fear being limited in our choices or from having our choices taken away from us. We are jealous of people who have more talents, more money, more friends, and more opportunities, because we think they have more choices than we do. We believe if we were like them we would be happy, because then we could choose the things that would make us happy. But is this really true? If we had the ability to choose whatever life we wanted, would we choose one that actually made us happy? Or maybe even more importantly, why do we think the choice to be happy is the same as the choice to choose whatever lifestyle we want?

Lack of choice is a human rights issue for many people, especially people who suffer under poverty or oppression. I'm not suggesting that promoting oppression would help people be happy, but I think it's important we dispel the illusion that, more choices make us more happy. I have had a lot of jobs in my life, probably just shy of 100 or so. I was able to have all those jobs, because I pick up skills quickly, I was raised in a stable healthy family, and I received a good education. I had lots of resources and I could have chosen almost any kind of path I wanted, but for years I made a choice to avoid life in subtle ways and to choose dissatisfaction.

So many people do this in all walks of life. Instead of choosing to be happy with whatever they have they choose to be unhappy with it. We live in a country with untold comfort and luxury. Most of us don't have to fear violence, starvation, rampant illness, or societal instability. Yet we choose to be dissatisfied with our lives. We are told that we should be smarter, wealthier, have more friends, drink more kinds of coffee, buy more organic food, be more beautiful, be more fit, and more, more, more. Yet this more rarely makes us happy. We are hiding the fundamental choice. The choice to be happy.

This is the simplest and hardest choice in a way. It is really a choice of faith. It's a choice of choosing our own flawed, complicated, imperfect, silly, awkward lives. It's the choice to smile, simply because smiling both manifests happiness and is the manifestation of happiness. It's a choice to appreciate what we have even if others have 'more.' It's a choice to let others have 'more' and be happy for them. It's a choice to love ourselves and our lives just as they are. Sounds simple right? Yet it is a very hard thing to do, because there are so many forces inside and out that point out what's wrong. Our civilization is built on the ability to solve problems, but that means sometimes we try to find problems when their aren't any. We have the brains of people who have tamed nature and crossed the globe, but most of our problems now aren't at that scale. At least the problems we focus all of this BIG MIND energy on aren't aren't to that scale. Instead of using this sledgehammer to pound at our little anxieties, what if instead we chose to work on a more fundamental problem: the problem of being able to choose to be happy.

Take time this week to look at places in your life where you are choosing dissatisfaction. What if you chose to be satisfied instead? Try smiling during the day even if you don't feel like it. When you are walking around ask, "What look do I have on my face?" It can feel fake and forced at first, but remember smiling does create happiness. They've done studies. It's like totally science and stuff. Try it out for yourself and see what the effects are.

If choice is something you value, try everyday to make the choice that is always available  Make the choice to be happy, at first is small ways and eventually in bigger ways. You will be surprised how this simple intention manifests itself in everything you do.

Thanks for reading and Be Well.
Gentoku
dharmatrainer.com

Being a NEWB: The practice of being a new person

We've all been there before. It's the first day of school, a new job, a bicycle riding group, fitness class, etc. and we feel lost, confused, and helpless.

Here is this group of people that know each other talk the same language, share similar values, wear similar clothes, and know the in's and outs better than you. Every time, even if we've been the new person a 1000 times, it's weird awkward and down right scary.

We want to be accepted, we want to be in the know, and more than anything we wish we felt comfortable. Very often we feel like little kids all over again.

I recently joined a masters swim club to improve my swimming time and ability. I've joined many new groups and know how these things go, but without fail I end up feeling lost, weird, and awkward.

So I decided to write a post about the practice of being a new person, because it is a very interesting practice and it actually reveals alot about who we are.

Step 1: Admit you're scared and step forward.
When we enter a new group old habits of protection arise, old strategies emerge, old insecurities are abound, because we are unsure we will be taken in by this tribe.

In traditional cultures not being taken in could mean isolation, hunger, and even death; so our fears are well founded. The first step as you enter a new group is to just admit to yourself it's scary.

 Trying to act like it's not scary just makes things harder. Now that's not to say that you should be shy, timid, or hesitate.

What it means is that you should admit you're scared and then do your best to go for it. Hesitation only breeds more fear and hesitation, but confidence breeds confidence.

Step 2: You don't know what you're talking about.
Whenever we enter a new group it's best to take the attitude that we don't know what were talking about. Even if you've been in a similar group or setting each group has some specialized language or gestures that you will need to learn.

 If you don't feel comfortable asking questions right away, and I often don't at first, then just watch very carefully. See what other people are doing and do that.

When I first started doing group rides, I learned quickly what hand signals meant. People pointed out potholes and debris, people warned others when they were stopping. So I would watch and then imitate, imitate, imitate. 

Then whatever terms you don't know just ask about. I don't know how many times I floundered around in a new group until I figured out what the hell they meant. Just remember it's cool, you just don't know what you're talking about.

In reality most people don't know what they are talking about at some point. The key is to admit it to yourself, forgive yourself for the awkward mess you may very well be and keep at it.

What you shouldn't do is act like you know what's going on, esp. if you don't actually know whats going on. You may come off a cocky and you set yourself up for quite a fall if you miss a key cue.

There are people who can act like old pros and they are old pros. If you are one of these you know it and if you aren't don't try to act like one. People love an underdog, so just be an underdog.

Step 3: The trick is to keep going.
Very often in new groups, people are slow to warm up. They may even be pretty skeptical of new members. If you've been a part of a public group for a long time you know why this is. Most people who join a group quit within a week or two. Why?

 Well there are lots of reasons why people don't stick around, but most people quit because it's hard to be the new guy and it's hard to stick with change. If you have been the veteran member of a group it's hard to take these new people seriously because most of them quit pretty fast.

Why invest time in someone who may very well be gone next week? Instead people will often wait a few weeks to see if you will stick and then they will get more friendly. 

Remember that you are scared of all these new people, but in a way these new people are scared of you too. You are an unknown entity and value.

You could be cool as Elvis and as Saintly and John the Baptist or you could be the exact opposite. The only difference between them and you is they have safe people to talk to instead of you.

While you only have yourself to talk to, which I wouldn't recommend doing out loud when you first join a group. Remember that every person in this group was the new person once.

They were scared and uncomfortable just like you were. The biggest difference between the newbie and the accepted teammate is time.

MindFitMove Practice
Take some time and reflect on when you tried something new.
What about it was really scary and what about it was really exciting?
Think of something you have always wanted to try, but never did.
Why not try it now?
What exactly do you have to lose?
Finally, in the groups that you already attend, think about what could you do to help new people feel more comfortable.

The easiest way to get to know people in a group you join, or to get to know new people in your group is to ask open ended questions.

Be curious about the people around you, in fact even if you think you know the people in your group now, you'd be surprised what you will find out if you just ask then open ended questions and take the time to really listen.

 One thing we often don't give space for is other peoples lives, hopes, and dreams. We are so caught up in our own agenda we don't take the time to really hear others.

Try to hear one friend or family member this week in a deeper way. You might be surprised with what they have to say.

Thanks for reading and Be Well,
Genotku

dharmatrainer.com

How to exercise in the rain - The Whiny Voice

Here in Portland the winter months are coming. The hints are there, the occasional overcast skies, the cooling morning. That means that the rain will soon be here and thus a built in excuse not to get outside and exercise. No matter what part of the country you live in, the weather can be a reason to get out of your workout routine. Partially this is natural. Traditionally changes in activity would be dictated by the conditions, though most weather demanded more effort from our ancestors than we have today. Winter meant getting fire wood to chop, summer may have meant walking and carrying water, spring time planting or hunting, and fall meant harvesting.

In our modern times it is so easy to be comfortable, so little is required of us, physically, to survive. Which is why it is all the more important to stay active in the winter months or whenever the weather is less than ideal. And let's be honest the weather is often not ideal, unless of course you live somewhere the weather is often ideal (I'm looking at you San Diego), in which case you can skip this post. I've decided to write a few posts about how to maintain an exercise routine even when the weather is bad. If you have other ideas please feel free to share them.

The hardest this about exercising in inclement weather, is the hardest thing about ever doing exercise, GETTING STARTED. There are many techniques to work with less than ideal circumstances, here is one of my favorites.

Paying attention to who is talking.
* Scroll down for a note on voice and voice dialog if your not familiar with this concept.

You are supposed to go for a bike ride, but it's cold and rainy outside. You sit inside staring at the rain and think, 'ah man it's going to be so cold a rainy out there, I don't want to ride my bike, I'll get all gross and have to wear stupid bulky rain gear.' Etc.

    The first step to working with this part of your mind is to ask, "How old is this whiny voice?" For me the voice is usually about fourteen. I can even imagine that 14 year old saying the above, crossing their arms, and huffing. We often equate ourselves with the little voices or energies in us that resist doing what we know is, 'the best thing for us.' This can lead to guilt and to thinking that we are weak, but we aren't weak, we just have a 14 year old voice living inside of us. There is nothing wrong with that at all, but we have to work with that energy when it arises. When I notice this part of me arise, I   talk to that 14 year old. I might even imagine myself as 14 and  say out loud, "I know that you don't want to go outside in the rain, but you know that if you do you'll have a good time. I promise that when we get home, we'll take a warm shower, and we'll feel really proud of ourselves." Does this always work? No. Sometimes the teenager wins and I stay inside and watch TV, but more often then not, when I am aware of that whiny voice and acknowledge it, I can find a wiser part of myself and get out the door.

How old is your whiny voice? Can you visualize yourself at a certain age when it's up? In what other areas of your life do you hear it?

Next time you find your whiny mind arising, try to talk to it in a gentle way to help get yourself out the door. Remember what worked to motivate you at that age, it might work for this part of yourself now. Yelling at it, criticizing it may work in the short term, but since it's a part of you, you are better off learning to love and respect it. Try different techniques to work with it and see what gets the most traction.

For extra credit try and notice other voices that arise when you exercise.  Maybe sometimes you have a little internal coach or cheerleader. Maybe you have an internal champion, or perhaps an internal underdog. I'm sure most of us have a critical voice or energy that arises. Paying attention to the parts of ourselves that arise, in exercise and life, can help us know what our mind is up to. We can learn to access the voices and energies that help us and to help the voices that hold us back. No voice or energy is wholly bad, but some are trying to help us in pretty messed up ways. By hearing and working with these parts of ourselves, we gain more knowledge of our mind and more peace in our lives.

Thanks for reading.
Be Well.
Genotku
dharmatrainer.com

*A quick note this post talks about different voices or energies that we encounter as part of our being. It is based on the philosophy of voice dialogue which acknowledges that we are all made up of a mixture of different energies and motivations. These voices or energies are what makes us able to play different roles in our lives and move from being at work to being at home. These energies or voices can be discovered and brought forth as a way to understand different aspects of our being. For a list of different selves check out this site- http://www.voicedialogue.com/which_self_are_you.htm

Listening to Language / Consequences - 7 Habits

Again just a reminder I am reading the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey right now. I am using my blog as a way to take in the material with a mind towards teaching it to others.

There is a part of 7 Habits where Covey talks about listening to our language. Specifically paying close attention to when we use reactive phrases, as opposed to proactive ones. Very often when I talk about fitness or training I hear reactive phrases from people. When I tell people about training for and racing triathlons, I usually get one or two reactions. Most people say some version of, 'That's great, but I could never do something like that,' or 'I wish I could do that, but (enter excuse here: I'm too busy, I've got a knee injury...).' Few people acknowledge that they are making a choice not to do triathlons. Now I'm not advocating everyone should do a triathlon (seriously you should though), I'm merely saying in most cases not doing a tri is a choice, rather than the result of some outside force.'

Whenever we do or don't do something, it is rare that we are compelled or prevented from doing it. In reality we are making a choice of one action, over another. We do this primarily because: 1. We don't want to suffer the likely consequences of the choice, or 2. We don't want to put in the effort to manifest that action in the world. In this post I'll talk about the first case and I'll discuss the second case in a later post.

A clear example of the first case can be found in this statement: "I can't work out in the morning, I have to be at work at 9:00am." What choices does this statement hide? For one the choice not to wake earlier before work or the choice to get more sleep. Another would be the choice to be on time to work instead of working out. Another would be the choice to go to work at all, instead of spending time on fitness.

Many of us would think the last choice is a reasonable and prudent one. The choice to keep my job, or to be on time, instead of working out seem like wise ones, but we still choose. In truth I could choose to lose my job and work out instead. But if I don't want the consequences of losing a job, then I'd be wise to choose work over working out.  In many instances changing our language wouldn't mean changing our choice, but it does reveal that we are making a choice.

To use proactive language in the example above, you could say "I choose not to work out in the morning, because I want to get 8 hours of sleep and get to work on time." When we read this phrase we can see all the possibilities I've overlooked. Maybe I could go to bed earlier, so I can wake up earlier. Maybe I could choose to get less sleep and use the extra time to exercise. By using reactive language we disempower ourselves. Instead of taking responsibility for our choices we paint ourselves as victims who can't choose anything else. When we use proactive language we paint ourselves as capable people who are choosing what we want in our lives.

Listen this week to yourself and others, and notice when reactive language is being used. When you catch yourself or others take some time to think about the hidden choices. How could you restate the some thing and acknowledge the choice involved? When you see those choices can you see other choices you could make?

The Buddha talked about karma starting with thought. Before any volitional unskillful act occurs an unskillful thought must occur first. By listening to our language we can reveal the illusions and delusions in our thoughts. By taking responsibility for our language we can learn to take responsibility for our lives. Covey talks about this as the ability to choose our response. Change comes from choosing a new response to our lives and language lies at the door to this change.

Thanks for reading,
Be Well

Gentoku
dharmatrainer.com

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A gift to your future self - 7 habits

    So I've recently been reading the 7 Habits by the wonderful Dr. Covey. One of the things he suggests in the book is that you read the book with an eye towards teaching the concepts to others. So I thought one way to make that really hit home for me is to write a few blog posts about my reflections on the concepts he presents in relation to finding balance in both body and mind. 

    One of the concepts he introduces early on is the idea of finding a balance between P, which stands for production and PC, which stand for production capability. An easy way to think of this is when making coffee:  Coffee is the product, while the Coffee Maker is the production capacity. The goal is to find a balance between these two, so that produce the best product, while keeping your capacity at a sustainable level. 

    Often when we exercise we have a hard time striking the balance between the two, because they are both very intimate to us. When we seek balance through fitness, our bodies are both the P and the PC in this equation. We use our body, to improve our body. Of course there is something very poetic about that as well. In one way, it's very easy to maintain this balance, because the more effort we put into our body, the P, the more we build our fitness, the PC, which lets us put more effort into P. The problem comes when we separate ourselves from our bodies. When we make our bodies the problem. 

No matter what your fitness level your body is a product of 2 things:
1.Your karmic patterns.
2. Your mind. 

    Let's take a quick look at the first. Your body is a very clear example of karma. Karma can be very complicated, but fundamentally it's just cause and effect. You body is the result of a combination of causes. Things like heart disease are caused by family history (genetic cause), how active you were growing up (past cause), and what your diet is life (nutrition cause). This isn't supposed to make you critical of your actions. Instead thinking this way encourages us to notice,  'oh my body is a combination of factors some of which I can control, some of which I can't. This also means that your future body will be a result of current causes and conditions. I'm never going to be 6ft tall no matter how fit I get, but depending on what I do today I can change how fit I am in the future. What I do today is a gift to my future self. What gift do I want to give? 

    The second factor is your mind. Not only is our body image largely determined by our mind, but also our actual body represents the way in which our mind turns. Karma starts with a single thought, which then turns into repeated thoughts or actions or both. Those thoughts and actions turn into patterns, but it is all dependent on that original thought. When we bring more awareness to our minds we make it possible to see our thoughts and step in between them and the things that come afterwards. 

    Awareness it the key to transforming our way of thinking. By acknowledging that our current body is the result of past factors and past states of mind, it becomes clear how important it is to have a compassionate attitude and approach to our fitness. If we make our body the enemy to achieve fitness, we are focusing on the P but not the PC. We are focusing on the effects, but not the causes of our future self. Fitness must start with a gratitude for the body we have now. Your body is the vehicle that will take you where you want to go. If you treat it with honor and respect you will be giving your future self a body that has been honored and respected. If you treat it with disdain and criticism, you give your future self a body that has been criticized. Which body do you want to give yourself? 

    Take sometime at the end of the day or before you workout to reflect on all the good things your body has done for you. Reflect on how it's carried you along, digested your food, helped you do work, and all the other things you can do because you have a body. Then take some time to think about and write down the gifts you want to give your future self. More ease, more confidence, a half marathon finish, appreciation, whatever it is remember that your future self is relying on this very body, this very mind, to help it manifest. Your body and your mind are your companions, your teammates on the path to a balanced life. 

Thanks for reading and be well. 
Gentoku
dharmatrainer.com  

The Practice of Reflection: 33 one sentence journals.

I've taken up the practice of writing a twice a day 1 sentence journal. I learned this from the lovely Zen Habits Blog which I would highly recommend to others. It's a great way to start the practice of reflection. Reflecting on all these sentences I realized a couple of things.

1. That life is filled with a mix of somewhat profound discovery and mundane beauty, and that this mix is what makes life both bearable and satisfying.

2. Life seeks to teach us lessons by repetition and reflection helps us remember what we are trying to learn or unlearn as the case may be.

Try writing a one sentence journal this week. Do it at the same time everyday. Don't worry if what you write isn't profound. It's not about being poetic but just being really honest with where your at. Confession even to yourself is a very powerful act.

Thanks for reading and be well.

Gentoku dharmatrainer.com

Here are first 33 journals:

 The work of purifying the heart isn't all fuzzy warm hugs, sometimes it's acknowledging and drawing out the barbs from your own heart.

The next time a cute girl sits down next to me on the bus, I'm going to say hello.

 When I see pictures of us I realize I wish I had appreciated more how much you loved me and I wonder if anyone will ever love me like that again.

A true friend tells you the truth in a way that even when it hurts nourishes you.

Filling out a job history is like taking a trip down memory lane, with my brain going you really did alot of cool random things dude.

The night before the big race, tension, fear, excitement, and the intention to share the merit of my effort to serve wisdom and compassion.

I didn't cry when I finished my triathlon, but when my sister said I was her hero for doing it ... tears.

There's a kind of sweet tired feeling that overtakes the body; this satisfaction of being thoroughly used by life.

A day after my first tri a question arises, "What shall I do next another Olympic or a sprint?"

Cool soft milk poured into a bowl of sugar filled crunchy cereal, makes me feel just like a kid again.

To engage another in the exchange of honest reflection, helps me to grow and is always worth the risks.

Being in a choir again reminds me of the simple joy of first learning to sing.

Sometimes the best plan is to have no agenda, but to be present and available for whatever might arise.

It's good to remember that looking for work puts people in a very vulnerable and tender place, where defensiveness and justification are their armor.

Everytime I question whether I should exercise or meditate, I should remember that both give me a calm and space that soothes my heart.

It's satisfying to see myself making progress on letting things go to move onto what is next and it's effect on my punctuality.

There are few things as satisfying as being to be there for my friends, especially the ones that are always there for me.

There is something about some fundraising campaigns that really makes me question the integrity of their techniques.

Two days two job offers apparently I'm very professionally appealing. Who knew?

I now have my own website, YAY!

Bringing my teacher coffee is the simplest way I can express a gratitude and appreciation for the intimacy of his teaching.

Good conversation is its own reward.

It's very satisfying to be excited about promoting something I care about that I also want to do for a living.

I enjoy helping friends push their boundaries, but I am dedicated to focusing on empathy before information.

First day at the new job, excitement, boredom, stress, satisfaction, it feels good to be working.

Working often makes a long day.

It's hard to go to go to sleep when you feel lonely.

Working outside even when tiring is very pleasant.

 To listen deeply even if you don't agree is so powerful and nearly always opens my heart.

Sometimes it's very hard to know who exactly is your friend.

 Lateness cascades into lateness cascades into a pressure in my head, therefor timeliness very often leads to more peace.

I love riding my bike through the city at night, because there is something so alive about it.

The new little camaraderies that develop at any job are a sweet ripe fruit that delight the mind and heart.

It's good to feel engaged and involved in an area I feel confident and competent and know I can be relied upon.

I notice I often have a tendency to ask others more questions than I answer and perhaps this is because I'm reluctant to reveal how vulnerable I can really be.

Why be fit?

Why be fit?

There are so many choices about how to spend your time in this life. You could become an expert computer programmer, or cook, or wood worker, or New York Times crossword puzzle completer. So why be fit? Why should you spend your time working on create a healthier body? Especially considering that is will deteriorate no matter what you do.

The ephemeral nature of balance in the body can lead us to wonder why bother at all? If you spend more time working maybe you could buy a really, really, nice car that you can drive even if you're out of shape. But with fitness it takes constant and concerted effort to maintain your investment. Or if you've gotten older it may seem like it's not worth your time to build your body back up. There are many reasons compelling reasons why it's worth it to bring your relationship with your body into balance, but there are two that come up in my mind first.

First, there are few things in your life you will spend as much time with as your body, so it's better to make friends with it. Even if you decide that you don't want to be particularly athletic, regular exercise makes a friend out of your body. That's what friends do, they go out and have fun together. Maybe your idea of fun is sitting on the couch and munching some yummy snacks. Its very true that can be fun, but good friendship is more than just enjoying company. A good friend also pushes you to grow into all that you can be. Taking walks, getting outside, even going to the gym will assure that your friendship with your body has a deep and abiding quality.

The second reason is contained in the impermanent nature of fitness and the body. Working to find and maintain balance in our bodies is a constant dance that requires our love and attention. There is a joy that can be found in this devotion to health and well being. Of course this devotion can get out of control and become an obsession, but if managed well there are few things that can bring us that much joy. The fact that our fitness is something we have to tend to isn't an annoyance or an obsession but it is a wonderful gift. The job demands the best parts of ourselves and reminds us how alive we really are. If you've ever tended a garden, or taken care of a sick friend, or had a pet you have experienced this fully alive engagement .


Take some time this week to reflect on how you could become friends with your body? What can you do to make sure it's a long and mutually beneficial relationship? Then take some time to appreciate the dance of health. What have you learned to find balance and peace around? How could you bring the lessons and most importantly the joy you felt in that area into your everyday practice of exercise.

Thanks for reading and Be Well

Exercised centered life - 7 Habits

So I've done one post about the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey, but just a reminder I am sharing this info to encourage myself to think about the lessons as if I was going to teach them, but also because I'm learning a lot about myself from reading the book.

 I recently read the section about finding your center, where Covey relates all the different things people center their lives around. I wondered about people who have fitness as their center. I wanted to reflect on my experience of having exercise at the center of my life.

This last year as my triathlon training picked up I found that exercise had become the center of my life. Well I should clarify that it wasn't just exercise, but fitness in general. 

The Ap
I had an ap on my phone where I obsessively put in calories, I measured all the metrics of my workouts, I read about triathlons, and very very often I didn't do other things because I wanted to workout. 

I got to work late because I wanted to get the last few laps in at the pool. I didn't go out with friends, so that I could get up early and exercise. In and of itself none of these things were a problem. 

There is nothing inherently wrong with choosing something like fitness or training over other things in your life. Many professional or even serious amateur athletes do this all the time. What was wrong, at least for me, was the place that this choice was coming from. 

Don't Screw Up
It was the place of trying really hard not to screw up. It was a place of insecurity, of confusion, and that lacked what Covey calls the 4 factors: security, wisdom, guidance, and power. 

I only felt secure when I had done the training program. I had little access to wisdom other than reliance on the plans wisdom. I was guided by the plan and found power only when I attended to it diligently.

Don't get me wrong there is a part of me that was and is happy that I was so one minded about my efforts. I had a great first olympic tri, my body got stronger. 

I built faith in my ability to apply myself. But instead of moving into training from a strong place of vow and clarity. 

I ran into it out of fear of what else might happen. Fear of the space that would be left if I didn't fill every moment of my life with training. 

How to Live
How often do we do this in our lives? Some people fill that space with food, or tv, others with exercise or information. 

Some of these fillers may be more skillful than others, but if they all come from a fear of what is at the center, or what might not be at center, they are all a bit off.

Many people think that people who are fit are better than those who aren't, especially if they are people who fill space with food and thus don't look as 'in shape' as the exercise centered people. 

In truth many people who are fit are just as scared as you are. In the long run I think exercise has great potential to clarify the mind, but it also has potential to cloud it. It's not about the strategy, but the center that it comes from.

Centered and Strong
When you move forward from a strong center, you greet the world with confidence. Even if you feel uncertain from time to time, that center becomes a force of gravity into which you can lean. Having a strong center is so powerful, because the worldly winds don't hold as much sway on you. 

There is a sense of being able to close your eyes and know in your heart that you are doing your best, by being who you are, with integrity and authenticity. There is hardly a better gift to give to your life and the lives of those around you.

MindFit Move Practice
Take a moment to reflect on a time in your life, where you became centered on some external thing. What did it feel like to be so dependent on something else for security, wisdom, guidance, and/or power? Then reflect on a time where you felt like you had a solid center. Maybe it was when you were much younger and perhaps even idealistic. What was different about that time in your life? What is the center of your life now? If you don't know what could you do to help clarify it?

Be Well.
 ​ 

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A fine tuned machine

ANNOUNCEMENT!! Join the Be Fit To Sit: Mindfulness and Fitness Group starting
 Sunday Sept 23rd  3pm at Irving Park (Future meetings will alternate between NE and SE Portland)

To Read More or Sign Up Click here

Here we are testing a variety of things.

Spiritual practitioners of all walks have long used body movement as a way to ground the mind in the present moment. The goal of this group is to support the healthy function of the body in order to aid in the practice of meditation and mindfulness whether running, walking, cycling, swimming, standing, sitting, or lying down. ​ 

Members of this group are working towards fitness goals. You are welcome to join us in training for a goal event or just to improve your fitness.

Current goals are:
1.Run/walk the Holiday Half Marathon Dec 16th 2012
2. Run/walk the Holiday 5k Dec 16th 2012
3. Join a group of fun and mindful people to build fitness and mindfulness

No matter what your level of fitness you are welcome to join us. As a coach I will work with the group on a training plan to get you from the cushion to the finish line. Plans will be designed for the whole group, but I'm happy to offer advice and help to anyone needing personal consideration.

Cost: First Week Free! Sliding scale $10 - $20 per week or $35 -  $75 for the month.
If cost is a concern for you please contact me so we can talk about it. 
info@dharmatrainer.com

To Read More or Sign Up Click here

I attended an event the other night for my Buddhist Sangha where we were treated to an amazing performance by a classically trained Indian dancer.  At first I had been watching the performance from the back of the room where I was running the sound, but on the longest piece I moved forward so I could sit very close and watch her dance. I was amazed when I got right down next to her how much different the experience was when I was closer to her. It was engrossing.


There was this human body in front of me displaying the nimble expression of emotion and spirit. You could see tendons stretching, muscles taut and flexing. You could see and even feel this gentle, springy poise and strength. It was beautiful. And it struck me that not only was this dancers body a thing of beauty, but the reality is every human body is a fine tuned machine. How often in training have I treated my own body like a old clunker?

There is a tendency sometimes to treat the body like it must be whipped into shape. If we just bang on it enough then the old TV set will show the picture we want to see, a fit form of beauty. When I started training for triathlons this year I often would skimp on the warm up and then try to run as fast as I could, pushing my pace. I didn't respect the fine details and all the delicate parts, that make up my system. And guess what happened? You got it, I started getting little injuries, little cracks in my system. First it was shin splints, then I had IT band problems. Part of me thought it was just that I hadn't worn my body in yet. But I realize now that it's because I didn't work with the subtlety of my own form. My zen teacher used to tell me, "never force mechanical things, if it isn't moving there is a reason, take the time to figure out what it is."

This advice is essential for anyone seeking a balanced body and mind. Often the language used by the fitness industry acts, as if the body is a piece of steel, that can be heated and pounded into form. In reality our bodies are more complex than a super fancy sports car or fighter jet. By doing things like warming up properly, exercising with a sense of awareness, stretching, and engaging is an exercise plan that builds strength and conditioning over time, we can honor the fine tuned nature of our body. But if we ignore what our body is saying at every turn, push it beyond what we can do at the time, and fail to treat it with respect, we reap the results of that attitude.

This isn't to say, that when seeking to have a better fit there will be no discomfort. There does need to be a bit of pushing and cajoling that occurs. But we must do our best to find the balance between pushing and forcing. Discomfort is ok, maybe even a little ache or pain occasionally, but in general consistent persisten pain is best avoided.

Take some time this week and reflect on a time when you haven't treated either your body, a relationship, or another piece of fine tuned machinery roughly or cavalierly. What was the result? What if you had tried a more gentle approach? Then think about what could you do to manifest respect for your body in your life this week.

Maybe you could honor your body with a healthy meal. High end cars often need special fuel. Or, if you have chronic injury, finding a warm up routine that helps strengthen that area. Or you could even try taking better care of your body by taking a bath, or getting massage, or even just thanking your body for helping you out. No matter what it is, if we treat our bodies like a fined tuned machine, our bodies are much more likely to respond in kind.

HEY! What do you think of the post?
I'm refining my style and would love feedback.
Feel free to email me gentoku@dharmatrainer.com
or leave comments below

Thanks and Be Well
Gentoku