What Are 3 Aspects of Being A Great Student?

So I haven't posted in a few days 14 to be exact and I am working on a response to a great question asked of me, but it won't be ready today so instead I give to you, one answer from my Yoga School application. I know it's kind of cheating, but I think it was illuminating for me to read what I wrote here and I hope that it helps you as well. I think it applies to almost any situation we find ourselves in that asks us to be a student.

 

What are 3 aspects of being a student of yoga that are important, and why?

1. It’s important to watch the mind that grasps for achievement - The western mind can be, by virtue of the society in which it was raised, a bit competitive. I know that I have had the competition bug in me and that it can come out no matter what I do. This can happen in yoga just as much as anything else. I want to have perfect form, I want to be more flexible than others, etc. etc. There is nothing wrong with wanting to study and practice with skill, because without any determination I would drop any practice as soon as it got hard. What I have found is that I must expect to lose myself in the effort, rather than gain a new sense of self through it.  

2. It is important to let go of preferences - I think this is true in all aspects of life, but especially when being a student. Each of us can get a certain idea in their head, about how things should happen. The mind believes that if it can think about something enough and set up a model it will prevent suffering and death. In truth these ideas are what lead to suffering in the first place. I know that when I set my preferences and opinions aside and become open to what is happening, that I learn more about myself and any practice I engage in. Holding my preferences lightly and also respecting my own boundaries allows me to stay in the realm of learning with my whole heart. This is a practice I engage in at all times, but I think is essential to keep in mind when studying yoga.

3. Remembering to be present in the body - Meditation, zazen, yoga and many other similar practices are often thought to practices of the mind, but they are practices primarily of the body, or more correctly the mind body. I have a tendency, born of my study of western philosophy, to think of the mind and body as separate. I often tend towards the superiority of the mind over the body, a sort of mind over matter attitude. This way of thinking is not right view. The mind and the body are not two things. To hold the mind and the body upright are holding one thing together. I think I always have to remind myself to be present in the body rather than to try to think my way through something.

The art of not caring too much.

So it happens to all of us. Work gets crazy busy, we don't have enough time to exercise, we can't see our friends, and things just won't stop. Stress can make any of us lose it a little bit and the long term health consequences are real. Stress causes all sorts of chronic illness and leads us to engage in unhealthy habits like overeating, drinking, and using drugs. Hectic times can't be avoided, but there are some one practice that is vital if you want to navigate these waters with as little stress as possible.

Hold your preferences and opinions lightly: Ok, so this is one of the toughest practices to develop as a habit, but it's probably one of the most transformational.

  Everyone, and I mean everyone has some perspective on everything that gets done. Even if that perspective is 'I don't care.' Very often people think there way is the best way. Usually there are several good ways to do something, but we start to identify with our way and then we get upset when things are done differently. Our way becomes us. An attack on our way, becomes an attack on us.

Now the truth. Our way, maybe it's the best, maybe not, but mostly it's just one of many opinions in the universe. Also it's probably not an especially important one. Now an opinion on whether or not you should give birth to a child, or kill living beings, that is an important preference. Mostly though our preferences are for the way we put silverware in a dishwasher, or the proper way to put on a roll of TP.

I have learned to let go of many these types of preferences. They just don't really matter that much in the long run and when they are challenged, I go, "You know this isn't really worth getting upset about."

It's a relief to do it, because then I'm not holding up this big sense of self. I don't have to lug around my silly ego manifested in 1000's of little tiny preferences and opinions. Life becomes simpler, but I don't lose my sense of power or self worth.

When something really matters to me I speak up and I speak up loud. When this happens people listen, because I don't  speak up about just anything. When I speak up I know it's important because I've let go of so many unimportant preferences go. Things that drove me up the wall and things I've fought about with ex-partners are no longer a big problem in my life.

So you may be wondering how to practice letting go of preferences. First, just notice when your preferences are coming up and pay attention to if they are really important or not. Next when something rubs you the wrong way learn to breath and let it go. Then repeat until you are getting really reactive then take a break. Finally, learn the difference between boundaries and preferences.

Boundaries keep you safe, but preferences keep you trapped in reactivity. While trying to let go of preferences notice those that make up your sense of integrity and well being. Part of the way you find you boundaries is by letting them get crossed. When I let go of preferences often I find that some preferences think are important, aren't and some that I saw as silly, are actually important to me.

Experiment and don't be afraid to talk to someone about getting reactive. It's not the getting reactive that is the problem, it's the stewing about it. Letting go of preferences isn't the same as holding it all in. The key, as always, is paying close attention to the little tricks our mind plays.

Letting go of preferences and opinions is a hard practice, but now that I have done it for years I can stay calm and cool in many situations. People tell me that I'm such a calm person and I'm convinced the reason why is that I have learned to hold myself lightly.

Try letting go of preferences this week. Start with some silly ones and go from there. Put the silverware in the 'wrong way,' roll that TP from the underside, and mostly have fun with it. When we see how silly we have been all these years it's less embarrassing, then hilarious.

Thanks for reading and Be Well
Gentoku
dharmatrainer.com

Why is it a good rule to not have rules?

Sure sure I've heard it before RULES! RULES! RULES! THEY TOTALLY RULE! Except  sometimes they sort of don't.

Rules are not a panacea ( panacea - n. A solution or remedy for all difficulties or diseases). They can be helpful in some situations, but very often they can actually impede the very thing that can create change in your life, AWARENESS!!! (oooo ahhh).

I love rules and who doesn't, they make life so simple. I just listen to this set of parameters my mind determines and everything will be fine.

I mean that's what makes human beings so great, it's our ability to blindly follow a set of instructions without question. Ok ok so you have you have probably picked up on my sarcasm at this point, but maybe not. I don't really think that following rules are what makes us unique animals.

Bees and Ants
Bee's and Ants are great because they follow set rules well and in some ways humans ability to follow rules has helped us, but what really make us unique is our ability to adapt and reflect.

Humans are unique in our ability to problem solve, but even more so we are unique in our ability to be aware of our awareness. We can reflect on whether or not we are being present in a situation and what our motivations are.

The key to adapting successfully is awareness, but all to often we rely on rules instead of awareness to guide us.  So let take the same situation and see what happens when we use rules instead of awareness to guide us.

Sally and The Cheese
Sally has lost alot of weight in the past, but has put some of it back on. She works out regularly, but feels like she has lost her way out of fitness. She notices she has some cheese in her fridge. She knows that if she has cheese, she will eat it, so she throws it out.

She decides no more cheese, but then another voice arises in her, perhaps one of not wasting food or maybe a voice that is comforted by cheese when she feels anxiety. She reconsiders takes the cheese out of the garbage, but then the rule voice reemerges, "NO CHEESE!" it says. So back in the trash with cheese.

She feels better, but is not quite sure what happened. She wishes she could be stronger, that she was just a normal person.

Mind Hunger
In this example, we can see all the forces at play for Sally, but she doesn't necessarily notice them. She is aware of only one kind of hunger: "Mind Hunger."

Mind hunger is hunger based on rules and regulations set up by our mind. All the facts and figures that you have in your head about how you eat, all the ideas you have about nutrition, and all the articles you have ever read about food are what make up mind hunger.

The problem with mind hunger and the rules that it makes up, is that they can either be followed or broken. It's a very black and white world, but this world only works we are feeling good and strong.

Heart Hunger
In the example above, there are all these other hungers and voices that Sally may not see. There is heart hunger, her need to be comforted. There is mouth hunger, her love of the taste of  things like cheese.

There is also likely some inner critic, Sally's internal voice that tells her she will fail. There is an inner coach that is telling her how to get in shape. All of these factors are hidden behind a wall of rules and morality.

Awareness
Now let's imagine what might happen if Sally was aware of all of her hungers and the voices that created this internal struggle over weight and cheese.

The situation is the same Sally has lost a lot of weight, but put some back on. She works out, but feels like she has let herself down in the fitness department. She notices a block of cheese in her fridge, she knows if she has cheese she will likely eat it, but she wants to get into shape. The urge to throw it out arises.

Curiosity
This time Sally notices the urge to throw it out and gets curious. Why does she want the throw out a perfectly good block of cheese? She notices that some voices are arising in her.One voice (the inner critic) is telling her she doesn't have the will power to have cheese and not eat it. Another voice (the inner coach) tells her she better get with the program, which means throwing out the cheese, getting on a stricter work out schedule, etc. etc.

She notices these voices and first acknowledges that some of the things they are saying really hurt. She is feeling sad and scared that she won't get her weight down to what she wants. Next she wonders if the voices are telling her the truth.

Will Power
Does she have no will power? No that's not true, she works out, she writes a blog, she has run long races before; so she must have will power. She may be more likely to eat cheese if she has it in her house, but overall she doesn't have a problem with will power. She can observe that she has a need for competency when it come to healthy eating habits, but she doesn't judge herself for not always making the best choices.

Sally wonders, Is the inner coach voice helpful? Well it does seem to be motivating her to make healthier choices, but it's technique is ignoring all of the complex needs that are coming up for her. It only see's a world where there are rules and she better follow them or else. She sees this voice can be helpful, but if she listens to it, without considering her needs, she will likely burn out and not be able to sustain a life-long transformation.

Comfort
Next she notices that when she is feeling stressed out or anxious about herself and her body she starts to feel empty inside. When she eats the cheese she is comforted by the flavor and how good it tastes. It feeds her heart hunger. She realizes that though she may throw the cheese out, she won't feel any better if she doesn't also find a way to feed that empty part of herself that is comforted by eating yummy cheese.

She also notices she eats cheese as a reward. She needs to do something to celebrate her successes. Again she notes that she can throw the cheese out, but that she needs to find some other way to reward herself for a job good done. She brainstorms other healthier ways to reward herself.

Finally she notices that she loves the crap out of cheese. She can throw the cheese out, but she can't throw her love of cheese out. Cheese satisfies her mouth hunger so much. She realizes that she doesn't want to stop eating cheese, but maybe she can just eat it less often. When she does buy it, maybe she just buys a bit less.

The Power of Reflection
After all this reflection, Sally feels better, she may not understand everything that's going on with her, but she has a much better idea. Sally acknowledges that these parts of her need to be honored, but that she does want to make healthier choices. She decides to throw the cheese out to support her desire to be fit, but does so with the awareness that it's just cheese she is throwing out, not all the things the get fed by eating cheese.

We can see in the second example how much more Sally was able to observe, by looking into all the motivations that lead to her inner conflict over the cheese.

In the first example she wants cheese, but she feels weak, so she must throw it out. In the second example she sees she is strong, but that she needs to find some more awareness to meet the needs she has arising. She wants to be in shape, but she wants to honor all the parts of her that need to be fed.

Change
The key to transformation is awareness  Until we see a bit of the internal show of our mind we are doomed to repeat our karmic patterns again and again. The world of fitness talks A LOT about will power, will power, will power, but that only takes you so far.

The truth is will power is just one part of your mind and you have to honor all the parts of your being if you want to become a new person.

It's like the difference between repainting a house versus rebuilding it's foundations. Will power can change how you look on the outside, but awareness changes how you think and feel on the inside in a deep and fundamental way.

Take some time this week to notice a unhealthy pattern you want to change. Reflect on the voices, feelings, needs, and motivations that arise in you. Write down what you notice and try to find a way to honor all the parts of yourself while making healthy choices.

You don't have to notice as much as Sally in our example. Even just a little small bit of awareness can make a big difference in your ability to transform your life.

Thanks for Reading and Be Well
Gentoku

I wrote this on my IPhone

I had a conversation with a friend recently about whether or not she should purchase an IPhone. I listened as she justified and unjustified the purpose of the purchase. She listed reason pros and cons about having or not having one. This is a pattern I have noticed often in my self and others.

It's funny that we do this. We decide we want something and then our mind goes into overdrive trying to figure out how to make sense of the desire. It comes up with reasons to agree with what we already want, in part to hide that really we just want it. Often we want it for simple reasons like peace, joy, and fun, but we feel we have to justify it.

When I reflect on what this mindset, I can see this little story and it goes: "I'm not that special I don't deserve x,y,or z, unless I can justify why it might make me special or a least mitigate my unspecialness.
By not letting ourselves treat and reward ourselves we perpetuate the mindset of not being worthy.

This past year I wanted to buy a new fancy road bike, but felt I had to justify it. After listening to me go through this process, my good friend Lashelle told me , "It's ok to just want something nice." I realized she was right and it felt so liberating.

I did buy the bike and instead of feeling like I was buying it to fix something wrong with me, I felt like I was buying it to celebrate all the hard work I had done. Just a small shift in my perspective allowed me to let go of that negative self talk just a little bit.

Take some time this week to celebrate yourself. You don't have to go out a buy something big or fancy, but take a few minutes to celebrate all the things you do to help other and yourself. In buddhism this is called reflecting on virtue.

Very often we don't give ourselves enough credit. So give your self a pat on the back already.

Thanks for reading and be well,
Gentoku

Whats the difference between a missed workout?

Some days you are going to miss your workout. I know a personal trainer shouldn't say things like that, right? Your workout schedule should always be maintained, ALWAYS!!! NO EXCUSES!!! The truth is there are going to be days when you just can't make it happen.

Perhaps your schedule got screwed up or perhaps something came up at work. You might come down with the flu or maybe your cat sat on your lap and you just can't bear to move the sweet feline. No matter what the reason it's not a reason to PANIC!!!

Everyone misses a workout now and again. I used to get really bothered during triathlon training season about missing workouts. Partly because workouts are what kept me sane, but also because I was afraid. I was afraid that if I took a misstep, I would fall off the path completely.

When you are first transforming your life this is very natural. It's likely you have some little internal critic warning you against the numerous failures and violations of trust you have committed against yourself in life. It's not something to be ashamed about we all do it. We start with good intention and we stumble off the path. In a way this voice's diligence is important for you to pay attention to. Missing workouts can become a pattern and a habit that develops into a longer trend.

The trick is how to tell the difference between an occasional exception and a growing rule. Here are a few tools you can use assure you are sticking to your workout plan.

1. Make weekly instead of daily goals - When you are setting your goals try to make weekly goals that you sometimes exceed. This way if you miss a day you can always make it up another day. By setting weekly goals you can shift your work out schedule to meet whatever needs arise.

In addition by setting weekly limits you'll be less likely to try to get a bunch of workouts in one week, to make up for the last week. Fitness doesn't really work like that, by breaking your schedule down into weekly chucks you can manage your progress. If last week didn't go great that's ok you can start up again this week. These short manageable commitments makes long term progress possible.

2. Commit to a max number of days between work outs- I've heard many people decide not to go more than two days without doing some sort of physical activity. This tool is simple you just set this standard and keep to it. This way if you workout daily and you miss a workout for some reason, it's alright you're within your limit, but after three days it's likely your slacking or making up excuses.

 The important part of regular exercise is the regular part. Even if it's just getting out for a short walk, if you make exercise part of your week you will be more likely to keep it up. Even if your max number of days is three or four, your rule can be your workout snooze button. If you decide you need an extra day to rest, your snooze button rule will make sure you don't slip into a prolonged no-exercise slumber.

3. Commit to a workout group or workout partner - Social pressure is a powerful thing, you might as well use it to your advantage when you can. If you know that you will have to meet with someone or a group of someones, you are more likely to make it to your workouts. In addition  knowing you will see others who are working out regularly will encourage you to stick to your fitness plan.

When I was training for Reach the Beach, a one hundred mile charity ride, I knew each week I was going to be meeting up with other riders to train. These were serious cyclists and if I was going to keep up with them each week, I needed to stick to my training schedule. Every time I got sick or took a day or two off, I would feel it on the weekend rides. These rides became something that I looked forward to, but were also a tool to keep me focused on my long term goals.

There are many way to find people to support you, getting a personal trainer is one of the best ways to do this, but so is meeting regularly with a workout group or just having a workout buddy. Having someone hold you accountable keeps you honest about your effort and helps you make sure you stick to your long term goals. A personal trainer, exercise group, workout buddy, or even just an active friend can inspire you with their dedication, commitment, or resilience, and often you can inspire them as well.

These are just a few of the tools you could use to make sure a missed workout doesn't become a pattern, but there are many others. Take some time this week and ask yourself, what can I use to keep myself on track? Are there any groups that will support my goals, or are there any friends who might have goals similar to my own? What will motivate me to keep going when life gets in the way? What are some other tools I can use to make sure I don't quit when my life gets complicated?

No matter what your commitment to fitness is and what your goals are, using these tools to help keep you on track can make the difference between a short term change and a life long transformation. A missed workout is no big deal, but every  Often we put too much emphasis on personal will power in fitness. Sure having will power is great, but having support is even better. It's not about doing it all on our own, instead its about just getting it done.

Thanks for reading and Be Well,
Gentoku

What are 3 Virtues You Can Get By Waking Up Early?

First off I wanted to apologize that's it's been a few days since my last blog. Work has been hectic, but nevertheless I've started and not finished several blogs. This will start me back up and I should get back to posting every other day. I know you're not hanging on my every word, but nonetheless I apologize for the hiatus. I hope you enjoy the post.

Look, I love sleep as much as many of you (ok I'm sure some of you love it more.) Well probably not as much as some of you. I have heard many people profess their love of sleep, as if it were an oddity, but unless you have bad nightmares most people enjoy sleep.

Unfortunately, our modern society has given us some funky ideas about how much sleep people actually need and in reality most of us get much more sleep than we require. Part of the reason why people get more sleep or feel like they need more sleep is that they aren't very active. Many long distance endurance athletes need more sleep than the average person, but for the rest of us as we become active, its very common to find you can go with less sleep.

In any case no matter how much sleep you need or think you need, there are many benefits to waking up early. Whether you wake up early to exercise, meditate, plan, or read here are 3 virtues of waking up early to start your day.

1. The Virtue of Space - Early in the morning there are fewer distractions to getting done what you need to get done. Whether you have a family or live with roommates the earlier you wake up the less likely anyone else will be up. In addition there isn't much on the radio or TV so there are fewer things on to distract you.

The quiet of the early morning offers a special energy for reflection, focused attention, and a fresh quality of the mind. The early morning is a great time to work on life goals, plan out your day, or even catch up on some good reading. Whatever usually gets in the way the rest of the day, there is less of it early in the morning.

2. The Virtue of Time - Have you ever noticed that as the day, week, or month goes on it seems like you have less and less time to get things done. Time very often feels like it contracts throughout our whole lives and especially if we have alot to do.

Some of this is a matter of perception, but part of it is that as we go through our day unexpected demands arise. Projects and problems appear that we never could have anticipated. One of the best things about waking up early is that it gives us more time. Not only does waking up early often actually give us more time in the morning, the extra time we get early in the day seems to be more productive.  Whenever I exercise in the morning I always have time for it, but when I wait until later in the day I often can't seem to fit it in. If you want to get something done for sure, wake up early and do it. 

3. The Virtue of A Good Start - The law of karma can be complicated, but one thing is for sure, the way we start something greatly effects the way the rest of it goes. When we wake up early we give ourselves a chance to have a better start. This is especially true if we use this time to reflect, plan, or exercise. When we wake up late and move slowly to start our day, the resistance present in these actions carries on the rest of our the day.

Consider this: If you have a big exciting trip planned with your partner or good friend, you wake up early with energy. You are looking forward to a day of fun and adventure. You just can't wait to get started. If you celebrated Christmas growing up, you can probably remember waking up on Christmas morning as a kid. The excitement and anticipation would get you out of bed earlier than normal.

On the other hand if we have something we are dreading or we are in a funk, we tend to wake up late, get out of bed slowly, maybe even stay in bed even though we are awake. Our every action is an expression of resistance to what we are going through or fear experiencing.

Each of these examples represent a different attitude about the day, either one of anticipation or one of resistance. So even when our day doesn't look like one of the two described above, our attitude depends on the way we start our day. By getting up early we are saying, "Today is an important day, I'm excited about today, and I am ready to meet the challenges this day will bring." If on the other hand we wake up late, we are saying, "I'm not sure about today, maybe something bad will happen, and I'm not sure I'm ready for it."

Finally one objection:

The main objection I hear from people about waking up early is either: 1. They need more sleep or 2. They 'just aren't morning people'.

In the first case, it's very likely you don't need as much sleep as you think you do, or you could just go to bed earlier. Before I lived at the monastery I used to think I needed so much sleep, but after living there I found I could easily function on five and a half to six hours of sleep. How much sleep we need is often just another function of the mind and it's something that is worth experimenting with to find out what's real.

As for the second objection, I have found that being a morning person has to do with my attitude about the morning. If you wake up late and rush around to get things done you are likely to be cranky. If instead you wake up early and give yourself lots of time to complete tasks then you are more likely to have a pleasant morning.

By getting up early we can embody the energy of morning people even if we are in some part faking it. Very often when I wake up early, even when I feel kind of cranky, after my morning run, swim, or meditation I feel great! (Or at least better) Sometimes I feel like that when I wake up late, but more often than not an early start to the day, means a better start to the day.

Try experimenting with changing your schedule around and see how it effects your productivity and energy. Remember that if you start waking up early your sleep patterns are changing so as you make the change you are likely to feel tired even if you get plenty of sleep. Also if you want to start waking up early it helps to be consistent about it. If you get up late on the weekends it will be harder to get up early during the week. The more regular you make your sleep habits the less tired you will feel.

As your patterns settle in I think you will find that the morning is this rich golden opportunity just waiting to be discovered. Mornings can add something special to everyday. When I am good about getting up early I rarely regret my choice.

Thanks for reading and Be Well,
Gentoku