Gregorian Calendars Are Stupid
Gregorian Calendars Are Stupid
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| You see sister, we made it all up! |
Most resolutions don’t last more than a couple
of months. A good rule for life is to stop making rules, especially ones that
don’t work. Here are 5 reasons your resolutions won’t work and 5 practices that
actually might.
1. I Resolve to Be Miserable.
If your resolution is to stop eating sugar or
watching TV you’ll probably have a hard time. You’re basically resolving to not
do things you enjoy. You can’t get anywhere by rejecting who you are. Instead
you need to learn to honor and then co-opt these parts of yourself.
MindFitMove Practice: Instead of asking yourself
to reject parts of yourself find a way to embrace other parts of yourself. Try
to do more of what you love, especially if it’s something that leads to more
balance.
If you love cycling, then try to cycle once a
week for a month. If you love making fresh kale, then make a new kale dish
every week for a month. Seeking misery leads to misery. Instead, seek the joys
that lead to a mindful and balanced life.
2. It’s A Can’t Do Attitude
In the world of non-violent communication
requests should be clear, doable, and on a reasonable time scale. If you
couldn’t ask your partner or friend to promise it, then don’t resolve it.
“Sweetie would you be willing to stop eating sugary
snacks?” This is not a doable request. It’s unclear what a sugary snack might
be and how long the promise is being made for.
Try this instead, “Sweetie, for the next month,
would you be willing to have a piece of fruit instead of ice cream after dinner?”
In the second example the request is clear, doable, and on a reasonable
timetable.
MindFitMove Practice: Take one ‘resolution’ and
turn it into a doable request with a reasonable time scale. Remember that a
reasonable time scale is different for everyone. If you are quitting smoking it
may be one day, if it’s taking a new class it may be one month. Experiment and
find what works for you.
3. Getting To No!
Adults rely too heavily on NO! It’s the first
word many children learn, because it’s the word they hear most often. When I
was a preschool teacher I learned that saying NO! to kids doesn’t work very
well. Instead we always tried to find something we could say YES! to.
MindFitMove Practice: Instead of setting a
strict rule that says NO! NO! NO! find one that says YES! Instead of saying no
to snacking, say yes to snacking on more veggies and fruit. If you eat a piece
of fruit half way between each meal, you will likely eat less sugary snacks and
fruit has quite a bit of healthy sugar in it.
4. No Reflection? Maybe You’re A Vampire
Many people make resolutions without asking 2
important questions:
1. What will I get/be if I maintain this
practice?
2. What will I have to give up to make this
practice work?
Making changes is hard, but often resolutions
are made in the spur of the moment or without much planning. People don’t take
the time to consider what it takes to transform their life. Instead of making
short hand resolutions, make plans for life long transformation.
MindFitMove Practice: Instead of making a
resolutions, set aside some time to write down 3 things you’d like to do this
year. Agree to sit down and write down these goals and answer the 2 questions
above. Then decide if the answer to the first question is worth the answer to
the second. If it is, remind yourself of this often. If it isn’t, pick some new
goals you are prepared to do.
5. The Transformation Will Not Be Scheduled
Like the title of this post indicates, the
schedule for your transformation is not Gregorian. Your transformation happens
on your own schedule and pace. A better time to start might be February, June,
Or September. The best time is the time when you do start with full awareness.
This isn’t an excuse to encourage you to
procrastinate, but if this is a bad time or if you are already transforming
then maybe something new won’t help.
Try and be honest with yourself. Maybe you feel
more motivated to exercise when it’s warmer so start your workout program on
the first day of spring. Maybe you are exhausted from visiting family; give
yourself a few weeks to rest before you take on a new challenge.
MindFitMove Practice: Cycles are important to
reflect on your progress, but they aren’t always your best guides. The key to
life long transformation is mindfulness and awareness. Use these tools to asses
what is a reasonable and doable for you. No matter what you decide, focus on
being mindful. If you decide not to change your eating habits, notice what
that’s like. If you decide to change the way you eat, notice what that’s like.
What’s Next?
My goal is to support people walking the path of
transformation. These 5 practices will help you get started, but transformation
takes time and practice.
If you are ready to take the next step, there
are 2 easy ones to take
You get a FREE eBook A Zen Buddhist Guide to
Fitness just for signing up and at least 3 times a week you will get
mindfulness practices, advice, and encouragement to support your path of
transformation.
As a member of the team you will get:
1. Free - A
Zen Buddhist Guide to Fitness – upon Signing Up
2. Free - Awareness
eBook– on the 15th of January
3. Discounts
- on a new eBook every month on the 15th
4. Answers
to questions about your Mindful Fitness practice via email or Skype.
